Updated: Jul 13
Nur Amalyna is a Science Laboratory Executive at Tanglin Trust International School. She and her husband, Rizal have three beautiful children, who turn 2, 4 and 6 years this year. Amalyna loves high-intensity activities like rock climbing and Muay Thai, but on quiet days she enjoys her time painting with watercolours.
(1) How did you and your husband meet?
We were classmates in secondary school, but that wasn’t where it all started for us! We bumped into each other a couple of years down the road in our late teens and were in close contact for a short period, and then we started dating just when I was heading off to Germany for my studies. And after four years, I graduated and came back to Singapore, and we decided to end the long-distance relationship by tying the knot right after! Best decision ever.
(2) When did you become a mother? Describe the feeling when your first child was born.
In the year 2015 I gave birth to my first son, Danial. I went through a rather long labour with Danial, but when I first saw him, I remembered I was just giggling and smiling so much, and completely forgot how tired I was from all the pushing. I couldn’t believe this little being was ours. Rizal was with me through the whole process of natural birth, and it was the most precious experience for both of us.
(3) How did your priorities shift after having children? How do you balance your work responsibilities while raising three children?
Only after my second one came into the picture, there were more things we had to look into, especially time management and financial planning. The essential needs of the boys were always put first.
Apart from that, I am also very thankful that I have a rather strong support system. Even when I had my first child, I still had much freedom to do what I was doing before and accomplished things I’ve always wanted to do. Back then when my late in-laws were still around, they (and my parents) always had their arms wide open for their grandchildren when we needed a breather, and that eased it for us. Till now with three children, my parents and my relatives are always more than willing to step in for us when it gets too overwhelming, juggling work and home.
(4) What values would you like to instil in your children?
In our home, being Muslims, we prioritise our religious values which, for us, already provide a holistic overview of moral and social values we would want to inculcate in our children. My husband and I are also very family-oriented, and we will want to carry that on to our little ones too, the way our parents have instilled it in us. Family always comes first, no matter what.
(5) How do you and your husband share the roles of raising your children?
What I find interesting is that none of us try to play a specific role, for e.g., one has to be the disciplinarian. Instead, we step up to the role automatically and according to the situation. And going by the daily routine, we naturally work as a team. Rizal knows what he is supposed to take care of, and I will do my part on the other end. That is how it worked for us and so far, it is working well. I guess I want my kids to know that they can always go to either their Mama or Abah at the end of the day, for any type of situation they are in.
(6) What are your most favourite bonding activities with your family?
We usually set aside Friday or Saturday nights as our “Movie Night” and every week we’d pick a new family-friendly movie. That is normally the time we get to bond over a movie and snacks of their choice. We also love dining out together on weekends as this is the time we get to chat with our sons and catch up on their week’s happenings.
(7) What was your relationship with your parents like?
My parents were the typical Asian parents of their time. Although they were not very affectionate, they showed their love in many other ways I will never forget. When I was growing up, my parents were strict, and I was always annoyed at that and never understood their decisions. But when I was studying in Germany, they were the ones I missed the most and I learnt to appreciate everything about them, being away from home. As we got older, my parents were also more open and were more receptive to discussions, and I guess this is why my brother and I have a very good relationship with my parents till today.
(8) How do you measure success as a mother?
There is no specific way to measure success, especially as a mother. There are days that were so tough that even a small hug from the little one can mean so much, and you know you have successfully raised a little person with the biggest heart, who is aware and understands at such a young age.
For now, I feel contented just seeing my kids purely happy and growing up healthy daily. As they grow older, I hope they will never forget us, their parents, and most importantly God the Almighty. Then I know I have accomplished my part as a mother on this Earth.